”My eyes are ever toward the LORD, for He shall pluck my feet out of the net.”
I felt overwhelmed by random situations every day, especially with situations that did not fit into my schedule. Something always had to dance aside and bother me. Missteps are not pleasant and strength draining. Why?
Since my childhood I had to understand that being at fault will destroy your life in the end. If you want to keep up with this world then be careful with mistakes and be ashamed of your stupidity. The others feel so much less of a weight than I do and are in general better than me, either way.
The deeper I look into the scriptures; the better I am able to understand the root of this cycle. There is no person in this world that does not compare himself to others, he has to, otherwise he would not survive, he feels ashamed and guilty if something goes wrong. This means that this is an internal state of disturbance and stress. The root grows out of an impure conscience, the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes and the pride of life, the spirit of jealousy and a bondage to this world. You envy this world. You want to be the way this world wants you to be but you do not understand that you already are the way it wants you to be. You are dissatisfied, restless, stressed and desperate. This is this world. This is exactly what it requires of you: spiritual death.
Today I am certain that I am no longer possessed by this lie. Everything that this world requires has nothing in common with God. Through Christ’s death on the Calvary I am in possession of this anchor that enters into that within the veil (Hebrews 6:19). I have faith that is not fleshly, faith that does not demand anything from me that leads to agitation. Therefore I owe this world nothing. I am no longer guilty of the flesh. I no longer believe in the flesh since I am in another world through Christ’s sacrifice and I have no more fellowship with this world: I do not compare myself to others; I do not search to present myself in a better light. My thoughts do not depend on a thin thread of good deeds or other moments of happiness in this life. Because this thread will tear with the next false step and you are again dissatisfied. There is nothing that can give you satisfaction in the long run.
I have a different fellowship, a fellowship with God, every second, constantly. Since I have escaped from this world, I understand that earthly problems will repeat themselves. Therefore, I am not in prayer so that my situation would please get better, but I am in prayer so that I may keep calmness, peace and joy in my heart. I know what this world wants. As long as I continue living in this body this world will not stop asking. But this voice has no place in me because I have a prayer in my heart constantly, I died for this world, Jesus died for it all a long time ago. This light shines out of my conscience and it defeated this world, and sin. Nothing can take this away from me, no mistakes, no false steps, problems or worry. I own the anchor of faith.