The search for my identity.
As we grow up into young adults, there is a need to “fit in” and to belong. To find your identity. Somewhere we can be ourselves and to be accepted.
While growing up, I had an urge to be accepted by all people of this world. I wanted to be liked by everyone and be known as a “good person”. I also had the need to please people and therefore I acted differently than what I felt. However, Christ talks about this world as being temporary, fickle, and will soon have an abrupt and unexpected end. He tells us that we are only on a pilgrimage (John 17:14) on this earth, and our true home is with him. So if this world is not our home then why do we invest so much in it? Why do we stress over gaining influence, power, money, and acceptance. Why do we build treasures on this earth and neglect to dive deep into our hearts and figure out why we feel so empty and incomplete? Why do we feel the need to impress other people and live for other people’s acceptance while not realizing that God’s acceptance is the only thing that matters?
This need to be accepted only was perpetuated by social media. The term “fear of missing out,” would accurately describe my past self. I always wanted to be out there, enjoying life to the fullest because that was my definition of living. All the thing I did that day, I would post on Facebook and watch the number of “likes” I earned that day. I was again searching for acceptance. That momentary acceptance felt so good and at the end of the day it was all so meaningless. Don’t get me wrong, there is no sin in having fun and enjoying life but when this fun becomes your idol and you no longer examine the true reason why we live and breath… that becomes a problem. We begin to live for ourselves and no longer for God. We seek praise from people of this earth and neglect seeking it from our creator. We fail to examine our hearts, we fail to reject our selves, and we fail to live for God.
1 John 2:15 “Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him.”
When you step back and reevaluate, look at the core, you can see the problem. The problem of building on this earth, investing into a treasure that is non lasting, and is in exponential decay.
Feelings of emptiness and searching for happiness was exhausting. I didn’t want to be in this endless cycle anymore. So I began to search. I looked into myself and saw the selfish being that I was. I looked into the bible and it began to calm my soul. I understood that true happiness can be only achieved through God and living for him.
Psalms 16:11 “You will show me the path of life; In Your presence is fullness of joy; At Your right hand are pleasures forevermore.”
By rejecting this nature of “acceptance of others,” I found happiness in him which is never ending and filling beyond words. I can freely express my thoughts and feelings knowing that I will always be loved by Him and my church. I have gained a love and respect for my church because I see the living God work through them. They love me for me, and help me grow in the word of God. They helped me understand any sin that stood in my way and will continue to help me grow. I have found true happiness and a new meaning for my life. A meaning we were created for.